3rd Paul Mara Playoff Beard Competition: “After” Pics!

Nasty: The look on his face says it all. Not only is the season over, but that beard is over with it. I need a drink.

CCCP: Wanna know why he’s smiling? Because he took this picture on May 18th. That’s right. He shaved his beard WHILE THE RANGERS WERE STILL IN THE PLAYOFFS. Boo this man.

Manny: The Playoffs were really, really tough on Manny.

Carp: Don’t mess with Carp. That’s how you get your head knocked off, son.
Also, extra points for the upper beard.

4everanger: He writes, “Damn, I wanted to grow it longer and bigger.” THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.

Wicky: They grow up so fast.

Little Wegian: He morphed into Brian Boyle. Awesome! Video to come.

Lindy Ruff. I mean, Nicholas.

Noah: Solid effort, sir. Guh. Is anyone else getting depressed all over again? Where’s that beer I wanted?

BANJ: I don’t know what to say, man…

Casey: AHAHAAA! When I saw this, I laughed so hard I peed my Belly Band!

Alec Berg: He had a decent Boyler going for a minute, “but axed the bottom half in a drunken rage post-game.” Totally understandable.

EmmaLee: True, she can lose both her legs in a car crash and walk it off, but Playoff stress makes her hair curl.

Tony from AZ: I don’t really have the words here. Tony is one of the sweetest, funniest, toughest, most-loved, wise ass Rangers fans I have ever had the privilege of meeting. Keep working hard and kicking ass, Tony. And for prust sake, would you put some fucking pants on?

So here’s how this is gonna work, folks. I’ll put the poll in the next post and you can vote for Tony, I mean “The Winner” until the contest ends. The polls will close Friday, June 8th, at 5:00PM EST.

Prizes for the Top Three include:

And I’m pretty sure the losers are gonna win something as well. Because here at The Zetterburger, everyone’s a winner… even the losers!

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“Before” Pics: Part III

This is it, folks! The final inSTAALment of The 3PMPBC “before” pics! It’s been exciting getting to see all of your fancy & pretty faces – I can’t wait to see them all covered in beard! 

You can check out the rest of the “before” pics here and here

BANJ: BANJing his way to greatness.

Casey: If you don't vote for him, he'll pee on your shoes.

Alec Berg: I had to resist the urge to photoshop funny things in the background. No promises for the "after" pics.

EmmaLee: EmmaLee once lost both legs in a car accident, but she walked it off.

Eric: He is awesome and everyone should check out his Rangers' blog 5-hole.com

Once the playoffs are over for the Rangers you’ll have about a week to clean all the confetti out of your beard and sober up (or to step off the ledge and sober up), take an “after” picture, and send it to zetterburger@gmail.com. Then we’ll all vote on who takes home the chocolate, trophies, and bragging rights.

To all the contestants, thanks and good luck!

“Before” Pics: Part II

Here we are with the second installment of the 3PMPBC “before” pics! Here at the Zetterburger, everyone is a winner! Okay but seriously folks, here are some winners: 

Wickarello: Awww baby!!! Look. At. Those. Cheeks!

The (other) Little Wegian: How do you say "super cool" in Norwegian?

Nicholas: Why so sad? You've already got a pretty rockin' Lindy Ruff there!

Millie Vanillie: Girl you know it's true, uh uh uh, I love you.

Noah: Major beardage potential.

The 3rd and final “before” post will be up soon, so hold on to your pants. Until then…LETS GO RANGERS!!!

“Before” Pics: Part I

I’m happy to say the 3rd Paul Mara Playoff Beard Competition is off to a great start! I received over a dozen “before” pics! I will be posting them throughout the week so as to not overwhelm anyone by all of the amazing gorgeousness of our contestants. Photos will be posted in the order they were received. I’m looking forward to all the beard pictures but, of course, I’m hoping those are a long way off.

And with that, here we go:

Nasty! Oh, YOU nasty… 

CCCP: Checkin’ coats, takin’ names, growin’ beards.

Manny: What the byfuglien? Are you feeling okay, pal?

Carp: Good morning! (Full disclosure: he gets my vote.)

4everanger: Oh you handsome mustachey devil, you!

That’s just the beginning. There are more “before” pics to come later this week, along with some other stuff.

In the meantime, everyone please send well wishes and happy thoughts to my friend, Tony, as he recovers from his stroke. Tony, I’m glad you found a socially-acceptable way to not wear pants for a while, but please don’t ever scare us like this again.

Great success!

The 3rd Paul Mara Playoff Beard Competition is now officially closed for entries. Thanks to all who sent in your gorgeous, adorable, hilarious, confusing (Manny?), and clean shaven “before” pics! In the next few days I’ll be posting the photos, as well as announcing some of the prizes.

In the meantime, here’s Puck Daddy’s Guide to 2012 Stanley Cup Scruff, in which we learn Shea Weber’s beard is the kind “so dark and terrifying that you would not want to meet in a dark alley.” Well, duh

Finally, a huge MAZEL TOV to our heroes, the New York Rangers, on their glorious victory over the Ottawa Senators. 15 more to go!

Last Chance to Enter Contest

Today is your last day to enter The 3rd Sometimes Annual Paul Mara Tribute Rabies Awareness Playoff Beard Contest and Picnic Extravaganza!!! Get ’em in before puck drop tonight folks (7:00EST), or it’ll be too late.

Once again, folks of any age, shape, or intergalactic origin are encouraged to enter. The Zetterburger does not discriminate. Your ability to win this contest will be based solely on your ability to win this contest. If nobody wins I will flip a coin or give all the prizes to Carp.

Email your “before” pic to zetterburger@gmail.com

If you need a little inspiration, here’s the winner from last year:

Playoff Beard Contest And Picnic Fun Run For the Cure

Quick clarification, folks! Anyone and anything is allowed to enter The Contest. Beards can be grown, glued-on, knit, taped, weaved, photoshopped, sewed, dreamed, illustrated, soldered, stapled, or created in any imaginable way, shape, or form. It’s a Beard Festivus for the rest of us.

I will NOT be entering the contest this year, which means any of you have a good fighting chance. Oh, don’t look so disappointed.

You still got ’til puck drop on Thursday… so you bettah WERK! Email entries to zetterburger@gmail.com